Friday, February 12, 2016

Quote for the Day

Cesare Pavese (1908 – 1950) was an Italian poet, novelist, literary critic and translator. He is widely considered among the major authors of the 20th century in his home country. Political disillusionment led him to his suicide by an overdose of barbiturates

Funny Friday


Loving Fridays introduces today's theme . . .  Valentine's Day.

Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." 
Boy: "Really?" 
Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!" 

Roses are red, violets are blue. 
If he's busy on Valentine’s Day, 
The side chick is you! 

What do single people call Valentine's Day? 
Happy Independence Day. 

Jim : :Did you buy your wife anything for Valentine's Day?”
Tony: “Yep, a belt and a bag."
Jim : “That’s nice, did she appreciate the thought?"
Jim: “I think so, hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."

What is the difference between a calendar and you? 
A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day. 

Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive on Valentine’s Day by 90 percent.... 
Wedding cake. 

I can't wait for Valentine’s Day because I get to make cupcakes for a special someone.
And that special someone is me. 

Roger was buying an expensive bracelet to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.

The asked, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'

Roger replied ”No, just engrave ‘To my one and only love’.”

The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir, how very romantic of you.'

Said Roger “Yeah, that way if we break up I can use it again.”

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful princess happened upon a frog in a meadow. 

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in my castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: “I don't freakin' think so!"


Corn Corner:

What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp? 
Stick with me and you'll go places.

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine's Day! 

What did the paper clip say to the magnet? 
"I'm attracted to you.”

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Quote for the Day

Elmer Reavis's House

A couple of days ago a news item featured photographs of an amazingly charming cottage in Los Angeles that had come on the market with an asking price of $US600,000 ($846,763). What made it all the more fascinating was the story that accompanied the pics, namely that the house had been built in 1924 by Californian Elmer Reavis, who was legally blind when he built it. I have tried to find out more about him but have not located anything, I will therefore assume that “legally blind” means that he did have some vision.

Some comments:
  • Reavis used a system of pulleys and ropes to assist in construction, that system also enabling him to lift a 680 kilogram stone into place above the fireplace.
  • The house features arroyo stone, exposed beams, leadlight windows and a pool.
  • There is also a guesthouse with loft bedroom, a fishpond, built in bbq and patio.
Love it.

And respect him.


Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Quote for the Day

Bonus quote:

Reader Contributions


From a collection of Oz trivia sent by Graham (more in the future):

Why do Australians put beetroot on hamburgers?

Beetroot, a variety of the plant Beta vulgaris, is eaten all around the world — but Australians have a special fondness for it. English migrants with a fondness for pickling probably introduced the vegetable here, and early on it was typically "boiled and served cold". So how'd it become the key ingredient in a classic Aussie hamburger? We were putting beetroot on burgers as early as the 1930s, but the practice might have taken off after the opening of the Golden Circle cannery in the 1940s (the above ad is from 1982), which made tinned veggies cheaper and more accessible. Or, more amusingly, it might have started as a prank on US troops who came ashore for R&R around World War II — who were presumably horrified to have their burgers "stained by beetroot juice". (Australian Women's Weekly, Trove)

"Make me one with everything."

By the way:

The world’s largest hamburger weighed 913.54 kg (2,014 lb) and was prepared by Black Bear Casino Resort (USA), Carlton, Minnesota, USA, on 2 September 2012. The hamburger was topped with 23.81 kg (52.5 lb) of tomatoes, 22.68 kg (50 lb) of lettuce, 27.22 kg (60 lb) of onion, 8.62 kg (19 lb) of pickles, 18.14 kg (40 lb) of American cheese and 7.48 kg (16.5 lb) of bacon. 

Not even one slice of beetroot. You call that a burger?

Here’s the final, record setting result (Guinness Book of Records approved):

A poor looking burger, if you ask me. Just proves, as often said, size is not everything.

As far as I am aware, Adam Richman has not attempted to eat one.

From Thomas:


From Sandra:


From Leo:

Confucius Say....

Kiss is merely shopping upstairs,
For merchandise downstairs.

Better to lose a lover
Than love a loser.

Much better to want the mate you do not have
Than to have the mate you do not want.

Joke is like sex.
Neither any good if you don't get it.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Quote for the Day

Haiku by Dogs


My bark, sharp and fierce
Trying to protect you from
The FedEx driver

For you I’ll create
Artistic works of poo, since
You save them in bags

Swallowed by regret
For I forgot to smell the
Third bush on the left

Your breath intrigues me
And I am fairly certain
You had ribs for lunch

Apologies, but
How could I have known that was
Your cheesy sandwich?

Puddled on the floor
A symbol of excitement
You’ve come to visit

Crestfallen, for my
Nose cannot fit more deeply
Inside your slip-on

But I thought I heard
You say you didn’t want that
Folder of receipts

You say the leash word
And I’m no longer obsessed
With sniffing cat butt

Just when you thought I
Could not sleep closer to you
You were wrong again

Some bonus dog haiku . . .

Love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten mouse.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds—I celebrate
By kissing your face.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do